If the first thing you think of when you see this picture is, "Geez, has she put on weight," then you can go ahead and put a gun into your pie hole and pull the fuckin' trigger right now.
Are the jeans a bad choice? Certainly. Are the belts a bad choice? Certainly (Full disclosure: I used to own a pair of Z Cavaricci pants that had three belts). Is Jessica Simpson fat? Uh, not even close.
Now, I'm not a big fan of this young lady. I don't listen to her music, I don't watch her movies, I think her sister is a raging asshole, and I'm pretty sure her daddy used to fuck the both of 'em. This isn't about her talent or her status or her celebrity or any of that, though, is it? It's about the ridiculous "bully" mentality that certain people just can't let go of.
In order to understand where I'm about to take this, you must submit to the following truths: men talk about who they would or wouldn't fuck ALL THE TIME and they know approximately 99.99999999999 percent of the women they talk about would never fuck them. They talk about this because they're men and it's what they do. In fact, most men don't actually try to fuck the women they talk about; they just talk about it. Harmless conversation.
With this in mind, I submit that most men would fuck the girl in the picture on the right. How do I know this, you ask? Because I would fuck the girl in the picture on the right. Now, my wife knows I feel this way and, like I explained before, she knows I wouldn't actually do it. Rather, she knows Jessica Simpson would never fuck me because I'm not an NFL quarterback. Either way, we're good.
Knowing this, where is all of the "fat" talk coming from? I'll give you a hint: they have stinky pussies.
Did you figure it out yet?
Nothings burns as bright as a woman's jealousy toward another woman. And let me tell you, this nonsense is blinding.
This all stems from a society that places money and fame at its center; a two-dimensional anti-reality that exists on magazine covers and television screens. It warps minds and silently judges and turns virile brains into hamburger patties ready to be stacked four high and placed on buns with 1000 island and lettuce and tomato - onions extra.
If you think Jessica Simpson has gotten fat, then I think you should die. Just hurry up and die so I don't get stuck behind your slow ass on the way to work tomorrow. I fuckin' hate you and what you're doing to our poised-on-the-precipice-of-greatness society.
Go to the library, check out a book, educate yourself and get a life. And then die.