Why the Republicans just conceded the election

I heard it put brilliantly last night by some idiot pundit on CNN. Why would you keep this lady away from the press? What are the Republicans afraid we'll discover?

Well, I think we just discovered what it was they were afraid we'd discover when we discovered it the other night. What a discovery!

I feel really bad saying anything negative about Sarah Palin because she's quite pretty and the right-wing is just in love with her. But that's just the thing: this is THE BEST THE REPUBLICANS COULD OFFER THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. Yikes.

I was going to post a transcript of her meandering response to Katie Couric's question about the proposed bailout, but after reading it I couldn't muster the strength to do it. Oh fuck it, yes I can.

"Ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy– Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too," Palin said. "So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions."

HEALTH CARE REFORM? Thank God, I thought this whole bailout fiasco had something to do with sub-prime mortgages. Whew, what a relief!

My shoes hurt, too

As I watched the debate last night, I couldn't help feeling a little letdown.

Don't get me wrong, I thought both candidates did a wonderful job of looking "presidential." But unfortunately, neither one did a very good job of looking "bat shit insane."

Why can't we for once have a clinically insane viable presidential nominee? Especially when you consider how many other world leaders are, at the very least, a little nuts.

Why couldn't Obama just look deep into McCain's eyes and scream, "Your great-great-grandparents used to own black people, motherfucker! Don't tell me I don't understand anything!!!"

Why couldn't McCain just casually walk over to Obama and punch him right in the face, laughing the deep, hearty laugh of a septuagenarian who spent five years in a dark, dank cell sewing an American flag out of pocket lint?

Is it too much to ask for a little crazy around here?

An exercise in futility

I suspect no one will ever read this, let alone even find it. But if they (you) do, then let me say, "Welcome!"

It has always been my dream to be a big-time columnist; a beacon of hope and knowledge in a sea of mediocrity and idiotness. I love the notion that people could read my words - my humble little words - and actually shape their opinion around my ideas and observations.

Here's an example of what I mean: I think racists are just terrible!

Now, people would read this and think, Geez, he's really onto something there. Score one for this fella!

I digress.

I'm starting this page because, as I get older, I realize just how much I need to say to the world. I feel as though I have a voice inside of me screaming to get out and smack you right in the nuts and feed on the hearts of your children.

Yeah, my voice eats children's hearts.

I know this isn't much, but for the time being, it's all I got. My job prevents me from getting involved in the politcal process to the extent I desire, so this will have to suffice.

If you want to read some of my past blogs, check out www.myspace.com/tenaciousal