Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Q and A: part the fourth

Part 4 in our attempt to better understand Alexander Ameen: sociopath, loner, creep. Read the following interview at your own risk.

Q. You have expressed concern recently that most of the people you surround yourself with are "all talk, no action." What do you mean by that?

A. I'm surrounded by a bunch of lazy fucks.

Q. Do you think your level of hostility is equal to their laziness?

A. No. I should be much angrier but I'm a pussy and a pushover who pretends to love confrontation but ultimately shrivels like a salted snail when faced with it in the real world (as opposed to the fake world). I have a hard time reconciling the fact that people who claim to want something don't just go out and get it. And I hope they don't plan on me getting it for them.

Q. Do you have any particular people in mind?

A. Yup. Your stupid faggot dad.

Q. My, my. That's just ... shame on you. Well, let's move on, please. Pres. Obama recently told a group of American service members that the time has come for Iraq to take care of itself. This statement was met with a rousing ovation.

A. You got a question somewhere in there?

Q. How do you think the new conservative golden boy Glenn Beck will spin this development?

A. I assume he will cry like a little bitch and create some kind of commission based on good ol' American values like:
1. Free porn for all!
2. If marriage truly is sacred, maybe we should outlaw divorce!
3. We should have more crazy fucks on TV!
4. Honesty! (Unless you're a member of the former Bush administration)
5. The Indians are a lost tribe of Jews and Jesus helped them plant corn and he went to other planets and all kinds of kooky shit! (Glenn Beck is a Mormon)

Ugh. Put on some temple garments.

Q. You got a problem with Glenn Beck?

A. Yes, I really, really do. Mr. Beck is that very worst kind of person: fear-mongerer. He makes a living praying on people's weaknesses and he exploits this power to fuel his gigantic ego. He is a worthless piece of shit and I would honestly kick him right in the shin if I ever met him. Fuck you, Glenn Beck.

Q. Anything else to add to today's discussion?

A. If you're reading this right now, thank you for indulging the ravings of a possibly misguided but definitely well-informed individual. Now do me a favor and go read a book! Educate yourself! I'm getting really sick of being surrounded by idiots.

Join us next time for part 5 of our 18-part interview. Until then, in the words of Mr. Ameen himself, "Pick your battles wisely.

No comments:

Post a Comment